Relationships Keep Your Brain Young
If you think staying sharp as you age is all about crossword puzzles, brain games, or eating blueberries, you’re not wrong—but there’s another powerful, often overlooked piece of the puzzle: people. Yes, the quality of your relationships and the strength of your social connections might just be one of the best “secrets” to becoming a Super Ager. When researchers look at individuals in their 70s, 80s, and even 90s who maintain exceptional memory and cognitive function, one common thread stands out: they stay socially engaged. Whether it’s a weekly book club, daily phone calls with friends, volunteering in the community, or simply chatting with neighbors, meaningful connections are fuel for the brain.
Our brains are wired for connection. When we engage in conversation, tell stories, or share laughter, we’re not just passing time—we’re actually exercising the brain in complex ways. Think of it like a workout: social interaction challenges your memory, sharpens your attention, and requires emotional awareness. It’s like hitting the gym, but for your neurons.
The National Institute on Aging has found that strong social ties are linked to a reduced risk of dementia and longer lifespan. On the flip side, loneliness has been shown to accelerate cognitive decline, increase the risk of depression, and even weaken the immune system. A large-scale study published in JAMA Psychiatry in 2020 linked social isolation to a higher risk of developing dementia, even after adjusting for other health factors.
In other words: staying connected isn’t just good for the soul—it’s medicine for the brain.
Unfortunately, loneliness is more common than many realize, especially for older adults. Retirement, the loss of a spouse, mobility challenges, or children moving away can all chip away at opportunities for connection. The CDC has even labeled loneliness and social isolation as major public health risks. And it’s not just about feeling sad or left out. Chronic loneliness can trigger stress responses in the body, leading to inflammation and changes in brain chemistry that make us more vulnerable to memory problems and decline.
The good news is, it’s never too late to nurture or rebuild social connections. Super Agers don’t necessarily have huge circles of friends—they focus on quality over quantity. A few meaningful, supportive relationships can make all the difference.
Simple steps can spark big changes. Calling a friend just to say hello, joining a group fitness class, volunteering for a cause you care about, or making the effort to meet neighbors for coffee can all give your brain the challenge and stimulation it craves. Even brief, pleasant interactions—like chatting with the cashier at the grocery store—can lift mood and reinforce that sense of belonging. One of my favorite examples is my Thursday Silver Sneakers class. Not only is it fantastic physical exercise, but it also brings people together in such a joyful way. The laughter, conversations before and after class, and friendships that blossom are just as important as the stretches and strength work we do. For many participants, it’s a weekly highlight—a chance to move their bodies and connect with others at the same time.
Brains thrive on connection. Just like exercise and good nutrition, strong social ties are a vital part of aging well. If you want to follow the path of Super Agers, make conversation and community part of your daily routine. Because when it comes to resilience, your relationships may be the most powerful brain booster of all.
Quick Self-Check: How Connected Are You?
Take a minute to answer these 6 questions. There’s no right or wrong—just a way to reflect on your own level of social connection and well-being.
In the past month, how often have you…
Felt that you lacked companionship?
Felt left out or isolated from others?
Had little interest or pleasure in doing things you usually enjoy?
Felt down, sad, or hopeless?
Talked on the phone, met up, or video-chatted with friends or family?
Had at least one person you could turn to for help or share something personal with?
Scoring (informal):
If you often answered “yes” to questions 1–4, or “no” to questions 5–6, it may be a sign to take action.
That doesn’t mean something is “wrong”—it’s just your brain and body telling you that more connection could help.
💡 What to do next:
Even small steps can make a big difference. Try reaching out to a friend, joining a local class, or coming to something like my Thursday Silver Sneakers group—where movement, laughter, and friendships happen all at once. And if feelings of sadness or disconnection stick around, consider talking with your doctor for extra support.